


Words I Might Have Ate

by Join_the_Masquerade



Category: Green Day
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 17:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17268344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Join_the_Masquerade/pseuds/Join_the_Masquerade
Summary: Song fic for Words I Might Have Ate by Green Day.





	Words I Might Have Ate

I collapsed straight onto the cold concrete of the floor backstage, lifting my shirt just a little to feel the chill against my back. We’d played a great gig. We’d played a great gig, and she’d been there to see it. It was as if she could read my mind because the next instant and there she was, this not being the first of such times when she’d appeared seemingly out of nowhere but from my own thoughts.  
  
“Great gig.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
She took the space beside me as her own and laid down by my side, that gentle strawberry smell hitting me in the face as her long summer hair swung down to join her. She’d been growing it out since the fourth grade, and I hoped she’d continue. It looked lovely, so long and blonde – something I really wasn’t into on anyone other than her lovely self. She always let it sit natural, and I loved the way it curved around her face.  
  
I remember I made this band to impress her, back in the day, back when we’d lay on the asphalt at school and watch the clouds floating above us. Then it’d start to rain, and we’d run through it, run to my house, and we’d sit soaking wet on my mattress laughing about it until our faces turned red. Mike was sometimes around, and he’d sometimes give me that look that said he knew; he knew of what she meant to me, and he knew I would never say a word about it.  
  
He was giving me that look now as he and Trè burst into the room and disturbed the peace that was. Trè had a knack for that.  
  
“Didn’t we play great!?” he yelled, before taking a seat on my stomach. I let out an ‘oof’ as the air escaped my lungs. “Did you see those girls in the front? They were totally checking you out. It’s not fair! Drummers don’t get any of the attention!” He saw her then, and he began to get up.  
  
“We’re gonna catch the next act. Join us?”  
  
“In a minute, Mike.” Then they were gone, just as quickly as they’d arrived, and things were at peace once again. At least I’d thought as much until she opened her mouth to speak.  
  
“Did you plan on getting all the girls once you joined a band, Billie?” she’d asked, but I knew by her tone that it wasn’t just her being playful.  
  
“No, why would I plan that?”  
  
“It just seems awfully convenient, is all.”  
  
“How so?”  
  
“I don’t know. It’s just weird. We’ve grown up too quick.” We were silent for a little while longer then, but I could sense that she wanted to say something. I’d wanted to say something, too, but I could never find those words.  
  
“I’m moving. In autumn.”  
  
“Ohh?”  
  
“I’m going to college, Billie Joe. I’m going to be gone for a while.” I wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t as if she had any obligation to stay, but it still felt like that to me. She was supposed to be there on every weekend she could get out of the house, there in the first row with the rest of the gawking girls. And they could then all disappear, because but one word from her and I’d no longer even notice their gaze. I barely did as it was, but sometimes it could be nice. So, they liked my style. There was nothing wrong with me, then, just something wrong with her.  
  
“Well good for you. You’re actually doing something with your life.”  
  
“You could still go back and finish school, you know.”  
  
“What’s the fuckin’ point?” I was angry, because I was upset, and I had to let one of those emotions show. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t keep everything inside so much anymore. This girl, this wonder of a girl… she would be gone in but a few months. A few weeks. A few days? “When are you leaving?”  
  
“Soon.” I dared not ask exactly what that meant. Tears were on the brink of brimming in my eyes but I looked straight ahead, I kept breathing, and eventually, I got up.  
  
“Well have fun doing… whatever it is you’re going to do.”  
  
“Will you miss me?” She was standing now, too. I knew this because her hand was on my shoulder.  
  
“Of course. So will Mike. Trè won’t know you’re gone until he’s looking to borrow some money and he can’t find you.”  
  
“Ohh.” I couldn’t find those words. I couldn’t tell her now anyway because what would be the point? She’d be moving soon. It’d be unlikely I’d ever see her again, if I was to be honest with myself. She’d meet a nice college boy, with his hair parted at the middle and brushed back out of his face. His eyes would sparkle and he’d say things that probably even she wouldn’t understand, but would find remarkable none the less. Then there was me, stood still in the clothes I wore on stage with my messy dreads hanging in my face, and the only thing I could manage to say was:  
  
“Well it’s not like you have anything for you here anyway,” and they were the words I might have ate. I turned then, because her hand had dropped from my shoulder, only to see the back of her as she walked right out that door. I wanted to call for her to stop, to turn, and to hear me out, and then I wanted to apologise like there was tomorrow, because I knew she wasn’t dumb, and I knew I wasn’t just anyone to her. I knew she saw me as someone different to the clown I’d been known as by most, and I knew I’d had a thing for her since I first saw her playing in the sand pit at school. I’d dumped a bucket of water on her head, much to her displeasure and the teachers’, but I’d heard that beautiful mermaids lived by the beach with the sand, and I thought they needed water to survive. It was a pretty logical thought for a 9 year old.  
  
I walked back to where all the action was at, and looked up at the stage now covered in blood as it appeared the band’s bassist had somehow whacked himself in the nose with his bass. Mike caught my attention and came over, and I sensed that he somehow knew.  
  
“She’s leaving tomorrow, you know.”  
  
“You knew?”  
  
“I knew. She told me a while ago. She… told me not to tell you.”  
  
“Well why didn’t you tell me anyway?”  
  
“Becau–”  
  
“You know what? I don’t care. She’s gone anyway. She’s fucking gone.”  
  
“What did you say to her Billie?” I walked away then, and out the same door she’d disappeared through. “What did you say?” I turned the corner, but she wasn’t there.  
  
I walked the long way back to my car that night, thinking that I could still smell the strawberries in her hair. We’d played a great gig that night, we really had, and I’d have given it all up to take those words back. If I really thought about it, she had something quite special for her here. She had something so special it would be forever a secret known never to her ears. Those words I might have ate, I indeed did, and still it wouldn’t bring her back beside me.


End file.
